The Trick is There is No Treat

The light’s on but it’s a no-candy home.

I’m one of those dreadful people that give out healthy “treats” on Halloween. Let me explain.

I grew up in a family of dentists and dental hygienists. My mom was a receptionist for a dentist for 40 years. Everyone I knew gave out toothbrushes or apples (this was the 1970s). It didn’t take long to realize these were not “treats” but an insult to children everywhere. One year I hid the stockpile of toothbrushes in my closet on Halloween morning. After searching the house to no avail, my mom was forced to keep the light out. I didn’t care because it kept me from being teased. My grandma, the most radical of the family, gave out mini bags of pretzels. I started trick-or-treating in her subdivision, one town over.

Years later, I have a daughter who, like me, is embarrassed about our Halloween situation. In my defense, I don’t give out toothbrushes. I give out organic suckers.  One year I gave out pouches of Goldfish in Halloween packaging. My daughter rolled her eyes and told me, “Goldfish are for my lunch, NOT Halloween.” So, I went back to suckers. This year, she threatened to keep the lights out if don’t buy good candy.

I need your help. Should I cave and hand out “good” candy? And what exactly is considered good candy?

Please, email me and let me know soon.